I take my job as a mother very seriously. Every day, I put 110% effort in to making sure that my children (and husband for that matter) are well fed, clothed, loved and nourished. I also take Mother’s Day very seriously. That is MY day. That is a day to celebrate how much I do to keep our family moving forward. And yet, I honestly feel like the day falls short of my expectations every year. This has lead me to take charge of my holiday for the following reasons:
1. Who knows me better than me? My husband is a great guy, an awesome husband and an amazing father. He tries every year to make the holiday great. But at the end of the day, he’s not a mind reader. He only knows what would make my day best by me telling him directly. If I’m telling him what to do, I might as well do it myself!
2. My mood changes. As is typical with humans, one day you will be feeling or craving something in particular, and the next day you’re on to something entirely different. I might tell my husband that I really want a strawberry cheesecake for Mother’s Day, but then when the day comes I might actually be feeling an apple pie. I can’t fault him for that, I gave him the direction to begin with! However, I can tell you that if I don’t have the apple pie I won’t feel like I fully indulged the day. It is a day of guilty pleasures you know, you need to have the ones your heart truly desires.
3. I want to celebrate me. I shouldn’t depend on other people to tell me how great I am at what I do. I know that I am amazing and rock motherhood like a boss. I need to make the effort to reward myself for things that I accomplish. This isn’t to mean that appreciation from my family isn’t welcome, it definitely is, but I want to show my kids that you need to be your own biggest fan and celebrate you. Don’t wait for others.
4. I don’t like telling people what to get me. This has always felt weird to me. Even when people ask what my kids want for their birthday’s, I feel odd spouting off a list of desired items. I hate giving my husband ideas for gifts to present to me. My preference is for him to just know, but once again – he’s not a mind reader. And, even if he did get me something that fit into my interests or hobbies, is it really *the* gift that I want? I might like it, but do I looooove it? I have a really hard time controlling my facial expressions, and I would feel horrible if even a hint of disappointment registered across my face. I am always grateful, but I often hype up the gift to a level that I shouldn’t.
5. It gives me more leverage. Planning my own Mother’s Day gives me the ability to skirt other responsibilities. No bathing of the children, no cooking dinner, no cleaning the kitchen. That is the responsibility of one of the non-Mom’s in the household. After all, I had to plan my own Mother’s Day, I can’t possibly be responsible for anything else.
6. I like surprises. If I come home to dinner being completely ready, that’s fantastic. If flowers are delivered to my work, even better. Having a date night that you don’t have to plan? Couldn’t ask for more. As long as it isn’t Mother’s Day. I love all of those things if it’s done because the person wants to, because they are thinking of me. I don’t want those things done out of obligation. I feel much more loved by the flowers that were delivered on a random Tuesday than the bouquet that I was given at Mother’s Day. Save the grand gestures for the week after, for this woman the impact is greater.
This year I will enjoy my Mother’s Day to the fullest, with the ones around me that allowed me to have the title of Mom. We will enjoy each other’s company, eat great food and be grateful for the day and each other. The only difference this year is that I will shoulder the responsibility. And I’m perfectly okay with that.
Kristyn Meyer is a freelance writer hailing from the mitten state. She is a mother, wife, writer, baker and wannabe coffee connoisseur. She is also the author of two children’s books – “Brother of Mine” and “I Don’t Know”, available on Amazon.